Sometimes reflections takes one far and for me when I do take time to reflect over things and think deep sometimes I do end up locking myself in a shell, a shell that people around me find it hard to crack and after I recover I pull myself out and deal with what's on offer.
Over the past few months have seen movements in my life and to some extend it has been overwhelming and draining. But one thing that has stood is the support from the people close to me. I have shed tears tons of it but at the end of it all have learnt and stronger than what have faced.
The most important lesson have learnt from all the events is that there is a place where most women should make their dwelling place... The Prayer corner... on days that I never thought I will look outside and see the light I have found strength and courage from just surrendering. It will never be easy.
I remember my mum used to pray over us and she used to ask God to give her the strength to stand in the gap.. Today I have know what that gap means and how its not for the faint hearted. It is a great place when you get to understand.
It will never matter what one has gone through, It will never matter what you have faced but just being still and knowing there is a higher power that takes care of all is comforting feeling.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
It has been years since I made a stop here. There are lots of things that I would want to pen down but I can try and sum all that and say I want to start again this year. At least try to pen this old book once a month will be great (so I think).
Ever wondered what people think when they are wondering far away in the land of unknown or known and they seem to be in a position that they can't untwist themselves while at the river bank there is a soul encouraging you to twist and turn and break free.
Well for the time have been away have learnt and been blessed with one of the greatest gifts that God can ever give a human being aside from life --- Inner Peace.
Finally am at a position I can say I have discovered myself... I am at peace and I am contented with who I am. I am looking for answers anymore.
There are days when a human being will search for lots of answers, walk through the jungle, miss the green scenery's at a desert and finally thirsty and hunger for something that probably you have not experienced before but here I am today gone through all that and finally saying at last have seen the water and drunk from the well. I do not have to worry but rather am very much happy with what I can achieve and what I can offer. I am keeping myself strong through the storms and through the terrains because what is ahead if far greater than any of these.
Through the journey have learnt:
- To choose where I want to spend most of my time and on what --- This has been pricey especially when people will be camping somewhere waiting for you and keep calling expecting you to change your mind and join them. Yet others think you are in hiding but have learnt spending sometime alone with a good book, some great music or in quiet presence is one of the best things in life. It is a tough journey with the hurdles but you got to knock them and choose what you would love to do. Staying close to negative things, people, animals, news and all will only make you mad or pull you backwards but when you establish your place no one will knock you from the joy it brings.
- To build a wall against negativity and criticism --- I do not have to wait for others to hear of their comments concerning something I am doing for me to be proud of my work but when I chose to do it I knew it was a great thing so am happy about it and proud of myself. People will tell you why this and that is not working yet they are not in it but it is what you set in your mind that will matter and will see to the success of the said thing. Critics will be there its is upto you to decide if you want to keep their negativity in your thoughts or you want to progress without their editing .
- Stay out of people business be it your family and stop criticising them --- the biggest lesson for me today has been what we give out will always find a way of coming back to us however long it might take. If most of the time I will be the one telling you why this and that is not good to you then whatever have said to you will be running in my mind and I will never have my peace.. However much we love the people within our lives if it doesn't affect us then let them live with their judgement.
- I am in control of my thoughts and what I think is what I will do --- whatever I sow in my thoughts so I shall harvest.. If I want to dwell on the negative things there is no day I shall be at peace because always the questions will be why and how rather look at something positive and draw your energy from there. I don't need un-necessary worries and neither do I need to carry burdens that I can cast them somewhere else.
- The same way I work myself off to earn a living so should I direct the same energy to finding inner peace. After getting to where I am I know I will never walk into Nakumatt or Uchumi and buy this greatest gift. I choose sometime to water this peace and feed it with the right thoughts.
And just like Master Shifu told Po you learn about inner peace through pain and suffering and sometimes it might not be easy to let the pain go for you to earn inner peace but once you do you can do the impossible. I found mine you too can......